Life as I Know It...

In case you haven't heard...

2011-03-12T21:05:00.002-05:00

We are expecting!! Baby Rogers is due on September 30th!

We are thrilled and can't wait to meet him or her.

In case you are wondering, we are 11 weeks pregnant and doing great!

My Mamaw

2011-02-01T20:01:00.000-05:00

(I wrote the following post for my grandmother, my dad's mom, on January 23, 2009, shortly after we had our second miscarriage - I was 12.5 weeks pregnant. I don't know why I didn't publish it then, but because I have no idea how long it will be before I post again, I thought I'd better do it now.) (I just realized that January of 2009 was 2 years ago. Wow.)

My Mamaw is a prayer-warrior. She carries my family in prayer and I am so grateful. There are times when she feels helpless because we are so far away, but she is tremendously helpful. In the last month I have depended on her prayers. We found out that our baby was gone on January 5th and Mamaw prayed. She called me the day of our appointment because God laid me on her heart. She had been thinking of me all that day. She was the first person I told of our sad news. She responded to the prompting of the Lord by calling me and she continued to care for me by praying. She and my Papaw also sent flowers, which are still living despite the lack of care they have received!

Thursday, I woke up feeling sick, so sick I felt I could not get through the day without someone praying specifically that I would be able to! I called Mamaw that morning to ask her to pray. It was the first of two horrible days. I was the first, then Chloe, next was Kevin, and finally Jake. We all were throwing up and feeling terrible. Mamaw prayed through it all. (She wanted to do "more", but I don't think it is possible to do "more" than pray. Beseeching the One who created us is not the least you can do, but rather seems to me like the most you can do. Sure there are other things that are helpful and may seem bigger, but I think that is just our earthly, limited perspective.)

I am grateful for you, Mamaw. Your example is compelling. You and Papaw pray for us, your family. We may not always express our gratitude, or even be aware of the hours you have spent before the Lord on our behalves, but recently, the Lord has opened my eyes and I want to take this opportunity to say thank you.

Thank you for bringing me and my family before the Lord. Thank you for persisting in prayer. Thank you for following up and checking in and carrying me on your heart. Thank you for responding to the prompting of the Spirit. These things make my heart sing in praise to God for placing me in the family that he did. My dad, your son, is a prayer warrior, too. I wonder where he got it from? Thank you for your example. I love you!

Sigh

2011-02-01T15:44:00.005-05:00

So, dusty old blog, how long has it been? I've stopped pretending that I'm going to come back to this.

When? At what point in my day will I blog? What would I have to stop doing in order to fit it in? Dishes? I wish. Laundry? I suppose I could always wear the same pair of jeans, but I'm not sure how Kevin would feel about wearing dirty clothes. I could stop feeding the kids, but they get grumpy when they are hungry. I suppose, for now, I will have to just accept the fact that I do not have the capacity to blog. This admission makes me sad because I really enjoyed blogging. But, in light of the fact that I even stink at responding to emails these days, blogging definitely must wait.

And wait.

Too bad. I have some adorable videos of the kids.

*Sigh*

Perhaps, someday, I'll come back to it...

To my Dad

2010-06-20T07:41:00.002-04:00

Happy Father's Day, Dad!!

I wish I could be there to hug you and look you in the eyes as I tell you how much you mean to me. Dad, I respect you and admire your faith. I have seen you walk through this year of multiplied trials with tremendous, unshakeable faith. You have been in a season much like Job, but have continued to say, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

Thank you for standing fast. You have built your house on the Rock; now that the storm has come, you are withstanding the wind and the waves. Well done, Dad!

I look forward to the day when you will hear that from the One you have served here! I know such a small fraction of what you do in secret, but one day our Lord and Savior will reward you openly and you will hear him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." (When I say that I look forward to it, I don't mean I would like you to go now!! It is my preference that you stay here for a good, long time. But I do enjoy thinking about what that day will be like for you.)

I love you! I hope you enjoy this special day. It is my prayer that you can feel the love of your children through the miles: from Tennessee to Maryland.

there is more to come...

too cute

2010-06-15T11:34:00.002-04:00

http://www.russell-life.com/2010/06/warhol-dress/

I am posting this link for one person only: Aunt Debbie.

My aunt Debbie can make anything. Debbie, finally something to do with all those old tee-shirts! I'm sure I could find a little girl willing to wear it!

I've got a baby boy too...

:-)

The end of the road

2010-06-02T07:11:00.001-04:00

Kevin just walked out the door for his last day of class.

I am in tears.

Jake says...

2010-06-01T10:46:00.001-04:00

Mommy, I just bewwy (very) wuv you.

Melts my heart everytime.

Ticks, Lyme, and Amoxicillin

2010-05-30T22:18:00.005-04:00

Well, we have seen and captured ticks. The tiniest ticks I have ever seen. They were really not a lot bigger than the dots on this page. The first one was discovered on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. In Chloe's ear.

I thought it was dirt. Seriously, they are SMALL. When I couldn't just sweep it out I realized it wasn't dirt. Grabbed it with my nails and tugged. Looked closely - A TICK! What! Ticks don't come that small in North Carolina! A second later I realized I was indeed holding a blood-sucking insect in my hand so I should probably get it away from my delicious blood. I stuck it in a plastic baggy and called my husband (trying not to panic). He was very calm and so I became calm too.

I was pretty proud of myself for staying so calm. Then, Sunday evening while we were dressing her for bed, I noticed a small spot on her back. Thinking it to be a scab from Jake biting her (yes, that has happened) I called her over, just to make sure. Looked closely again - ANOTHER TICK! You have to be kidding me!! This one was embedded and required tweezers - Chloe was NOT a fan. After I freaked her out and removed the tick, I placed that one in the same plastic bag. Now, I had taped the baggy to the inside of my cabinet door for fear that I would grab that seemingly empty bag and put something in it. So, I now had a collection of ticks inside my cabinet. That is a strange feeling. Also, I was less calm now.

Talked to hubby again. Now he is up for calling the Dr. So, Monday morning we head out for our family day, and I bring along our pet ticks - just in case. Called Doctor. He said to bring them in and they would send them to the lab for testing. Cool.

Sit in waiting room.

With ticks.

So strange.

Monday night, Chloe got a fever in the night and woke up hysterical. She dreamed that spiders were in her bed and she was terrified. It was a very sad experience. Kevin and I were both up with her for an hour trying to get her to calm down. She finally did. Back to bed. Agreed to call the doctor again tomorrow.

Tuesday we called doctor again. Bring her in.

Loaded up and took her in. After much consideration (and, I believe, prayer) Doctor recommended starting a 28 day cycle of Amoxicillin. We did not have the results back on the ticks so I wondered out loud if we could wait. No. Even one week would be too long. So, with great faith in God and respect for the doctor we began the treatment.

Thursday we got the call that one tick tested positive for the bacteria that causes Lyme Disease. I was a mess that day. I was fearful. I cried off and on until I got away to pray. I don't know much about Lyme Disease, but I know it can be devastating. I also know that we caught it very, very early and began treatment very, very early. She will likely be completely cured. It was still very hard news to take, even though I already knew in my heart it would come back positive.

That evening, Kevin came home just to allow me to pray. During that time, my dear friend, Julie Purswell, called me. She just prayed with me. She carried me before the Father and pleaded on my behalf. She prayed for Chloe. She prayed for Jake and Owen, too (they were sick with...well, let's just say they were sick and it was really gross!). She prayed over my soul - "Peace, be still." She asked God to bring peace to me.

And he did.

Peace that passes understanding.

So, today is day 21 of her treatment. She has not had antibiotics before this. She doesn't even take Tylenol. I wasn't sure what to expect. Praise God, her body seems to be handling it very well.

I can share that with a bit of humor now, but it was difficult at first. I was taught that I cannot protect my children completely. They are God's. HE looks after them and HE is able to protect them. He is interested in our good - not our comfort - our good: making us more like Christ. So, I am learning to trust him with Chloe (and Jake and Owen) and her physical well-being. I also learned that I have nothing to fear. Romans 8:28 is true: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who have been called according to his purpose.

Won't you please pray with me for Chloe? We are asking that this medicine will work and that she will be completely healed. Will you also pray for her Doctor? Dr. Niu. He is incredible. He is wise and caring and I trust him. He is caring for many children with many ailments and much worse than this. Pray that he will have much wisdom in his job as he cares for Chloe (and the other children in his practice).

I am full of faith, due in no small part to this woman and her breathtaking faith. Why should I tremble in light of all He has done?

Well, I don't know when I'll be able to post again. But I thought I would take at least a moment to tell you about Chloe.

Thank you for praying with us!

For You, Mom, on Mother's Day

2010-05-08T15:30:00.007-04:00

Mom, what can I say? You are a woman who loves her family and who would do anything for them. You have the heart of a servant and you willingly use your gifts to do for others. I love you very much and am sad to be so far from you on this day to celebrate YOU. You gave your life away to your children for many, many years and we are better for your sacrificial love. I miss you today and wish I could be there to make you breakfast in bed and shower you with pampering!

In the spirit of this day, I will give you the only thing you've ask me for lately: pictures of the kids. In fact, I can do one better than that. How's about a video?

Mom, I love you. I am filled with gratitude for you as I think about you today!

PS. Chloe came up with that bit about you being a great mom for her mom all by herself! I thought it was perfect!

Poor Dusty Old Blog

2010-05-08T15:02:00.003-04:00

It has been quite a while. A reflection of the busy season in which we find ourselves these days. Know that I think of you often and have blog posts in my mind. I simply lack the time to put them here...that and the fact that my pictures are spread out and this computer doesn't seem to want anymore of them. Today, however, I find myself with a strange moment of quiet and so here I am. I hope to begin posting again, if only to please my family who keeps asking questions like, "Are you ever going to post any more pictures of the kids?", "Are you planning to blog ever again?" and the like. So, I will try.

I can't make any promises.

I can try to make time. However, we are in the final month of PC and have a lot going on with end of the year stuff, finishing classes, meetings, looking ahead to life after PC, trying to get away on our own, not to mention the everyday busyness of having 3 kids. But, again, I will try!

The kids are doing great, by the way. Owen is growing like crazy, rolling over, laughing and smiling and babbling! Great fun! The other two are sweet and crazy and changing all the time. Life is full and fun and I love it!

That will have to do for now. I hear Owen. Time to get back to work!

It's official...

2010-02-16T15:01:00.003-05:00

Owen is smiling! At 6 weeks, he started a full two weeks earlier than his big sister! I have enjoyed his smiles tremendously and thought you might too!

Saturday morning I was able to capture these smiles with my phone

just after he flashed me his first one:

My sweet baby has changed a lot. He has brought so much joy to us already! It is amazing how much you can love a person you've know for such a short time!

A blessing in a white cup

2010-02-03T08:59:00.003-05:00

This may not look like much to you...
...but today, it was an expression of God's kindness to me. I slept very little last night and was fighting for faith before I even got out of bed. Helen Lowe posted this verse on her blog: "as your days, so shall your strength be." Deut. 33:25b. I was deeply encouraged and looked it up to see what verses followed. "There is none like God, O Jeshurun, who rides through the heavens to your help, through the skies in his majesty. The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deut. 33:26-27

What a perfect passage for this day, barely begun and already very difficult.

Then, my knight in shining armor appeared! Kevin came home with this gift! He should have been in class, I thought, but it turns out classes were delayed today. So, he spent the extra time blessing me. He said he wanted to thank me for serving all night last night. I was so moved by his thoughtfulness that I burst into tears! What kindness! When he left to head to class, I wrote this in my journal:

Every good gift comes from your hand. Kev just brought me a Misto (my drink at Starbucks)! What a thoughtful husband! What a thoughtful God! Father, I am undone at your kindness and mercy. That you, mighty God, would come to my aid in this way...Who is like God? There is NONE like our God!

Lord, may I honor you today! Be my strength. Thank you for sustaining me! Sometimes you do it through meeting me in my exhaustion and sometimes you do it through coffee!! Thank you for having mercy on me today!

Thank you for praying

2010-02-02T13:03:00.005-05:00

I was just reading a portion of When I Don't Desire God by John Piper. If you haven't ever read this book, I highly recommend it. It was a major player in my desire to memorize Scripture and supplied the original method I used.

What I read today was a small segment on prayer; more specifically, the power of others praying for you and with you. Piper writes, "One of God's reasons for calling us to corporate prayer is given in 2 Corinthians 1:11. Paul asks for prayer for himself and gives his reason: 'You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.' When people are involved in each other's lives, more thanksgiving rises to God when any of them is blessed."

This immediately brought to mind the many, many people who prayed for Owen's December arrival. I want to take this moment to say, "Thank you!!" We received abundant blessing because you prayed AND God was more glorified because you all rejoiced and thanked Him when we were blessed. Isn't God good? He designed things to work this way. He caused us to desire Owen to be born in December. He caused us to ask others to join with us in prayer. He blessed us. All because it pleased Him to do so. There is no one like our God!

So, because of the power of our God and the way He blessed your prayers last time, we would like you to join us in praying for a house. We desire to buy a home this spring/summer and are asking God to provide a place for our family. We would like to put down roots here. We desire a home that will allow us to grow as a family, practice hospitality often, and have a renter that we could build a relationship with and involve in our family life. We are asking God for these thing, so when you think of us, please ask God on our behalf! Thank you in advance for the help!

Father, thank you for your Word and for loving to hear our prayers. You are indeed a prayer-hearing God. You call us to cast our cares on you and to present our requests to you. You know the desires of our heart and so we ask that you would provide abundantly and beyond our expectations! We pray that it would please you to do so and that YOU would be glorified!

Owie-O - 1 Month Old

2010-01-31T05:21:00.006-05:00

Our little bundle is 1 month old today! My how time flies. I can't believe how much he has changed! Here he is on the day that Chloe and Jake met him, just 4 days after he was born:

Notice his skinny legs

Here he is at about 10 days old:

10 days after that:

Chloe loves the swirl that his hair makes.

Jenn took this picture for her:

Here is our big boy, just a few days ago. All of these pictures are amazing, but this first one is my favorite:

He has grown so much! Today, he weighs in at 8.5 pounds!! He has gained a pound and a half in just two weeks! I don't think he is going to stay pint sized much longer.

Jenn Dabb took all of these pictures (except for the first two which I think were taken by Kevin). I have many more from the most recent bunch that I will post some time soon. Thanks so much, Jenn, for capturing this precious stage for us. It goes by in a flash!

Baby O, you have already changed our lives. By God's grace and generosity, we've been able to enjoy you for one full month and pray we'll get many, many more! Your brother and sister adore you and love to shower you with kisses (you're not crazy about it). You've already gotten many nicknames: Owie-O, Baby Owie, Baby O, Sweet Owie, etc. Chloe and Jake have named all of their babies and animals Owen in honor of their favorite baby. God has used you to teach your Mama to trust Him more and to depend on Him more and to love Him more. Thank you for bringing glory to God, your Creator, by simply being a baby and doing what babies do. Your Mom and Dad are learning a lot! We love you!

Snow and Cupcakes

2010-01-30T11:06:00.004-05:00

Today Kevin decide to take the kids out for some special Daddy time. Usually he does this on Mondays, but not this time. So, they bundled up (it is 18 degrees afterall) and headed out. Not very long after they left, I got this picture:

Yikes! It got really messy really fast! When they left, it wasn't doing anything.

Then, I got this picture:

This is Georgetown Cupcakes. Note the pink boxes; that's how I knew where they were. The original is in, you guessed it, Georgetown. This one is brand new and is closer to home (unfortunately for our waistlines) in Bethesda. Kevin LOVES these cupcakes. Chloe does too.

See how excited she is. She is one happy camper. Whenever Chloe "makes" cupcakes in her kitchen, she always says they are Georgetown Cupcakes. Daddy loves having an excuse to go. He comes out looking like a hero for taking her there AND he gets to have a cupcake!

Of course, Jake loves them too and enjoys getting to pick one out. I understand the ladies who work there gave them stickers which is a simple way to win the hearts of our (easily bought) children.

Meanwhile, I'm home with Baby O enjoying the beautiful snow fall... though I'll be happy when the rest of the family gets home safe and sound!

Janu-hairy for Gary

2010-01-28T07:46:00.003-05:00

Apparently it is a tradition for the guys in the PC to grow their facial hair all January long. Then, on an appointed day the last week of January, they all shave into mustaches in honor of Gary Ricucci, the Director of Student Affairs and our pastor this year. We wives are not huge fans of this project, but the result sure is funny!!

Here is my sweet, humble, slightly creepy husband:

Wow. He was hard to resist this morning. Sweetheart, the 70s are calling...

He got those shoes yesterday at the Salvation Army for $5. Oh yeah baby!

Today, he will return a clean shaven man. I can't wait! But, I am glad to have these pictures!

Sweet Baby O

2010-01-16T15:00:00.004-05:00

Kevin's parents have taken the kids for us every weekend since Owen was born. What a huge blessing! Today, I took advantage of the quiet - and safety! - to get some pictures of Baby O ...and to update this blog! Enjoy!

all of our babies have loved to be swaddled

love those lips!

i want to remember these tiny toes

hangin' out

Oh sweet Owie-O! How we have fallen for you! Your mommy and daddy and brother and sister adore you! Father, thank you for this Blessing. Thank you for allowing me to care for him and for giving me joy even in the middle of the night. You provide grace for every moment and enable me to care for 3 precious little lives. What a privilege!

Our Hospital Stay in Pictures

2010-01-16T14:49:00.004-05:00

Baby Owen, Day 1

I love how his hand is above his head!

Great hat, ugly blanket

Naptime with Mommy

He isn't much bigger than the information booklet!

Daddy getting him dressed to go home

I think he looks happy to be leaving

I love how Kev looks at him

Kisses before heading out

First time in the carseat - not a fan...

maybe this isn't so bad after all!

The hospital lobby. It was a beautiful time to have a baby!

Owen Michael Rogers

2010-01-13T22:20:00.004-05:00

Owen Michael Rogers

12:59am December 31, 2009

6 lbs. 1 oz.

19 inches

As I was praying the other day and thanking God for all of the circumstances surrounding Owen's birth, I was overwhelmed by God's faithfulness and his abundant blessing upon us. Then, I felt lead to look up the meaning of the name Michael. It means, "Who is like our God?" Isn't that fitting!? I was brought to tears as I realized that we had named him that before we even knew what would happen. We picked the name Owen Michael for a couple of reasons. First we decided on Michael, after Kevin's brother. We were torn for a while about the first name, but settled on Owen after Kevin was assigned to read John Owen for class. We read him together and were both affected by his writing.

It was sweet to find the meaning of his middle name after experiencing such tenderness from our Lord. Just another example of God's kindness and his attention to detail. Who is like our God?!

Father, thank you for Owen Michael. Thank you for the many ways you answered our prayers. You truly gave us the desire of our hearts. Be glorified in this boy's life. Grow him into a man who loves you and spends his life for you.

Owen's Arrival - Part 2

2010-01-10T21:50:00.002-05:00

The rest of the story:

I'm not sure what time it was, but it was probably around 11pm, I felt a strange pop. I had no idea what it was, but it definitely felt weird. I told Kevin about it and then went back to reading. Kev started getting ready for bed while I started having stronger contractions. I decided to spend sometime praying and journaling. I began to realize that my contractions were regular. I prayed, "Father, I think I may be in labor. If I am, give me strength! Give Kev and I wisdom! Lord, fill my with a very clear awareness of your presence! I cannot do this on my own! I am fully dependent on you, Creator God. You made me for this! Be glorified tonight!" With that, I got up and began walking around. The contractions got less intense and shorter, leading me to believe they were just Braxton-Hicks. I told Kev I thought the contractions weren't regular enough to be real contractions, but he got up and started getting things together anyway. A few minutes later my water broke. Wow! That's 3 for 3! The bag of waters only breaks first in 15% of labors. I have a 100% rate! I was very grateful because that meant we would go immediately to the hospital.

We got there around midnight and were taken straight to a room - praise God! As I was walking down the hall - stopping every minute or so for a contraction - I was praising God! I was in labor and it was December! God was clearly answering the many prayers I had prayed about our December baby. I was filled with gratitude. When I got to my room I changed into the hospital gown and then got into bed. The first time they checked me, I was 7 centimeters dilated. Yes! Definitely moving at lightening speed. Now, when I was in labor with the other two, I HATED being in the bed. I was dreading it now too. However, while I was pregnant this time, I study the Bradley Method. I read two books and, honestly, wasn't sure I would actually be able to use it. I was way wrong! Laboring in bed was easier this time than when I was out of bed. Amazing. God was indeed giving me strength.

I didn't use the breathing techniques I used with Chloe and Jake. I used the Bradley Method. I concentrated on relaxing my muscles so that my contractions could do their work. With each contraction, I could feel Owen moving down. It was really incredible. They were still painful, but the pain was manageable. Very soon, I was ready to push.

Let me take a moment here to praise my husband. He has coached me through 3 natural, drug-free child births. He is amazing. With Chloe, he breathed with me through 8 hours of labor and was more exhausted than I was when she finally came. With Jake, he helped me to maintain what little focus I had. With Owen, he answered the annoying questions hospitals have to ask a woman in labor, he kept reminding me that every contraction brought us one step closer to Owen's arrival, and - what sticks out most in my mind - he reminded me of what I would need to do to push effectively. He leaned over close to me and calmly gave instructions while the doctor and nurses, whom I could see just over his shoulder, just stood by and waited patiently for him to finish. When Kev was done, the room sprang into action. It was amazing for me to see a doctor wait for a husband to direct. That is a sweet memory for me. I truly could not have given birth 3 times without drugs if Kevin had not been there to keep me focused and to tell me what to do!

So, I pushed through the first rather weak contraction. Then there was an awkwardly long break before the next one started. We laughed at the situation and then got ready for the next one. One more contraction and Owen's head came out. At this point, you are supposed to stop pushing so that the doctor can sweep out the baby's mouth. When the doctor swept Owen's mouth, he started chewing on her finger!! He was a hungry fellow! Then, one more push and he was here! 12:59 am on December 31, 2009. Our December Blessing.

Owen's Arrival - Part 1

2010-01-10T20:39:00.003-05:00

So, I thought it was about time for me to fill you in on Owen's arrival. Here is what I looked like on Tuesday, December 29, 2009.

I had a doctor's appointment that day and I was anxious to find out if I had made any progress. On the way there I asked God for peace and for strength to trust him no matter what the doctor said. Dr. Apgar confirmed what I already suspected: no progress at all. Wow. At that point I began to accept the fact that it could be 2 weeks before we met our little guy. By God's grace, I did have peace about it. I still had faith that God could bring Owen in December and continued to ask that he would, but I was at peace with the waiting.

Kevin and I began to make New Year's Eve plans and to consider what to do with the rest of his break. Wednesday was a great day. We all slept in until 8:30! That is WAY late for Kevin and I and a little late for the kids. We made a feast for breakfast including farm fresh eggs and bacon, gravy and homemade biscuits. It was amazing! Kevin is a great cook - especially when it comes to breakfast! By the time we finished cooking, eating, and cleaning up, it was noon! We put the kids down for nap/quiet play time. Kevin and I enjoyed the quiet time and just being together. I eventually took a nap while he got in some reading. That evening we just enjoyed being together. I loved watching Kevin play with the kids. He ran around the house with them which was rewarded with screams of delight from our kids. Kevin left just before bedtime to enjoy a guy's night out with old college buddies. The kids and I snuggled up on the couch and read several books, including their bible. It was such a sweet time! After that, I tucked my little one's into bed and said goodnight. Little did we know that it was the last day we would be a family of 4!!

I camped out on the couch with a book while Kevin was gone. He had forbidden me from cleaning up the kitchen, so I was enjoying the extended time to read and rest. Kev got home around 10:30 and we continued to read. Now, here is where things begin to get interesting.

But I think I'll start a new post so this one isn't too long. I suppose you'll just have to keep reading to find out what happens!

And another...

2009-12-15T13:36:00.002-05:00

I liked this one too, so I thought I would share it:

I love that I can set things on my tummy and they actually stay. I put cups there all the time! :-)

A Picture

2009-12-15T09:55:00.005-05:00

Here is one belly shot:

Thanks Jenn Dabb! This is what she came up with on the spot when I asked her if she would take some pictures for me. She is going to take some more in the days to come.

If you saw me pregnant with Chloe or Jake you may notice that my tummy seems smaller. I have gained just as much weight, but I am carrying Owen much smaller than the other two. Weird. Each pregnancy is different. This one has come with its own set of challenges and many aches and pains. We are almost to the finish line though!

Little Owen, I can't wait to meet you!

Baby Owen Update

2009-12-14T14:20:00.003-05:00

I am officially full term! Yipee!! I had a doctor's appointment today and wanted to post on my progress. As of today I am 75% effaced and barely dilated. Last week I was not effaced or dilated at all, so we've definitely made progress! I still don't have any expectations of going early, since I was 4 centimeters dilated a week before Jake was born (2 days late), but I have been asking God that he would be born in December. Only God knows when Owen will arrive!

I am grateful that baby Owen is growing and is safe and snug in there for now. While I am ready for him to come anytime, I do love feeling him move as often as he does. Sometimes I think he is confused and is trying to climb out of my belly-button! He is one active baby. I am eager to hold this little one and to introduce him to Chloe and Jake. They are eager to meet their little brother too...well, at least Chloe is. She told me the other day that she loved her brother Owen and that she hoped he would come out. Me too Sweetheart!

This is Kevin's last week of classes before the 2 week Christmas break. He starts back on January 5th (thus asking God for a December baby). It would be nice to have Owen for a few days - dare I say a week...or 2 even!? - before his classes begin again. I would love it if Kev didn't have to miss any classes. We will just have to trust in God and depend on his plan to be perfect because it always is. You could join us in asking for a December baby and in praying that Kevin will finish this week strong. He has worked incredibly hard this semester and I am happy he will have a break!

Anyway, I just wanted to update those of you who have been wondering how things are going with this pregnancy. I'll post belly shots...after I take some. Poor third baby - we don't have ANY of my pregnant belly this time! I guess we'll have to fix that very soon.

Romans 16:25-27

2009-12-12T19:50:00.004-05:00

Through tears and with great joy I have just finished memorizing the book of Romans. Here are the final verses:

Now to him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery that was kept secret for long ages but has now been disclosed and through the prophetic writings has been made known to all nations, according to the command of the eternal God, to bring about the obedience of faith - to the only wise God be glory forevermore through Jesus Christ! Amen.

Father, I am overwhelmed at your faithfulness to me throughout this year. Thank you for strengthening me! Thank you for revealing the mystery of the gospel! Thank you for your word which is sweet to my soul and like honey in my mouth. I am - undone.

I echo Paul's words, "to the only wise God be glory forevermore through Jesus Christ!"

Papa Tom

2009-12-11T09:36:00.003-05:00

Just now my little Chloe said this:

I cush (wish) I could go to Papa Tom's house 'cause I want to give him a big hug! I want to hug Papa Tom!

It delighted me to hear her say this about my dad. We weren't talking about him and she just thought of him. I understand her feelings.

Girlie, your mommy wants to give him a hug, too!

Romans 16:21-23

2009-12-11T08:03:00.003-05:00

Three more verses down only three to go! Praise God!!

Timothy, my fellow worker, greets you; so do Lucius and Jason and Sosipater, my kinsmen. I Tertius, who wrote this letter, greet you in the Lord. Gaius, who is host to me and to the whole church, greets you. Erastus, the city treasurer, and our brother Quartus, greet you.

Romans 16:19-20

2009-12-10T07:53:00.003-05:00

Only 6 verses to go! Today's memory work:

For your obedience is know to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Romans 16:17-18

2009-12-09T08:23:00.002-05:00

Today's memory work brings us to the final section in the book of Romans:

I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.

Romans 16:13-16

2009-12-08T08:34:00.002-05:00

Today's memory work:

Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord; also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well. Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, and the brothers who are with them. Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas, and all the saints who are with them. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.

Romans 16:9-12

2009-12-06T08:23:00.002-05:00

Yippee!! 4 more verses down, 14 to go!

Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and my beloved Stachys. Greet Apelles, who is approved in Christ. Greet those who belong to the family of Aristobulus. Greet my kinsmen Herdonian. Greet those in the Lord who belong to the family of Narcissus. Greet those workers in the Lord Tryphaena and Tryphosa. Greet the beloved Persis, who has worked hard in the Lord.

Romans 16:5-8

2009-12-03T08:50:00.003-05:00

Today's memory work:

Greet also the church in their house. Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in Asia. Greet Mary, who has worked hard for you. Greet Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen and my fellow prisoners. They are well known to the apostles, and they were in Christ before me. Greet Ampliatus, my beloved in the Lord.

Romans 16:1-4

2009-12-01T08:03:00.003-05:00

Today, I began memorizing the final chapter of Romans! I praise God for his faithfulness to me!

I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church at Cenchreae, that you may welcome her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints, and help her in whatever she may need from you, for she has been a patron of many and of myself as well. Greet Prisca and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks but all the churches of the Gentiles give thanks as well.

Jake's birthday wrap up

2009-11-23T09:31:00.003-05:00

I thought I would finally finish the post about Jake's birthday...two months ago! Better late than never, right?

Here is our buddy-boy finishing breakfast:

We carved pumpkins outside after breakfast. It was a lot of fun, but the kids were not crazy about getting dirty!

Once we washed up, we opened presents! Here is Jake getting his cards:

We were so surprised that he loved those cards that much! Now, this last video is my favorite. Here he is getting his present:

Happy birthday, little man! We love you!

Romans 15:30-33

2009-11-23T08:21:00.005-05:00

Chapter 15 is finished today! Praise God! I couldn't help but laugh as I recited these verses today! I am filled with joy!

I appeal to you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf, that I may be delivered from the unbelievers in Judea, and that my service for Jerusalem may be acceptable to the saints, so that by God's will I may come to you with joy and be refreshed in your company. May the God of peace be with you all. Amen.

Romans 15:28-29

2009-11-18T08:49:00.003-05:00

This morning I memorized:

When therefore I have completed this and have delivered to them what has been collected, I will leave for Spain by way of you. I know that when I come to you I will come in the fullness of the blessing of Christ.

Only 4 verse left in chapter 15!

Update on Kypton

2009-11-16T22:08:00.002-05:00

Baby Kypton is home from the hospital and recovering well! Praise God! Thank you to those of you who were praying!

Father, I thank you for the miraculous healing of Kypton! Thank you for sustaining Amber and Adam. Will you continue to heal this little one and to increase the faith of his parents? May they trust you more because of this trial you have walked them through. You are a faithful and kind God who works all things for the good of those who are called according to your purposes. In your kindness, please let them see some small way that you are using this to make them more like Christ...for your glory. Amen.

Romans 15:25-27

2009-11-15T20:18:00.002-05:00

Kevin and I are away on a trip. It has been wonderfully refreshing! I praise God for his abundant blessings and lavish affection.

Here is today's memory work:

At present, however, I am going to Jerusalem bringing aid to the saints. For Macedonia and Achaia have been pleased to make some contribution for the poor among the saints at Jerusalem. For they were pleased to do it, and indeed they owe it to them. For if the Gentiles have come to share in their spiritual blessings, they ought also to be of service to them in material blessings.

Romans 15:22-24

2009-11-12T08:32:00.001-05:00

Today's memory work:

This is the reason I have so often been hindered from coming to you. But now, since I no longer have any room for work in these regions, and since I have longed for many years to come to you, I hope to see you in passing as I go to Spain, and to be helped on my journey there by you, once I have enjoyed your company for a while.

Romans 15:17-21

2009-11-11T08:05:00.003-05:00

On Sunday morning I memorized verses 17 & 18 and this morning I memorized verses 19-21:

In Christ Jesus, then, I have reason to be proud of my work for God. For I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me to bring the Gentiles to obedience - by word and deed, by the power of signs and wonders, by the power of the Spirit of God - so that from Jerusalem and all the way around to Illyricum I have fulfilled the ministry of the gospel of Christ; and thus I make it my ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else's foundation, but as it is written, "Those who have never been told of him will see, and those who have never heard will understand."

I praise God for his faithfulness and his new mercies every morning!

Breakfast this morning

2009-11-06T17:03:00.002-05:00

This morning I served leftover baked oatmeal for breakfast. I put it in a bowl and pour milk over it. The kids eat this regularly. Today, Jake wanted his without milk. He took a bite, leaned back and said, "Alicious!" (Translation: Delicious!) I cracked up! He then repeated it again and again, much to my amusement. He has learned much from his big sister!

Romans 15:14-16

2009-11-06T08:47:00.004-05:00

Today I memorized 3 verses which brings me to the halfway point of chapter 15! Praise God! Your mercies are new every morning!

I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another. But on some points I have written to you very boldly by way of reminder, because of the grace given me by God to be a minister of Christ Jesus to the Gentiles in the priestly service of the gospel of God, so that the offering of the Gentiles may be acceptable, sanctified by the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:10-13

2009-11-05T08:45:00.002-05:00

Today, I memorized 4 verses that filled me with joy as I worked!

And again it is said, "Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people."

And again, "Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles, and let all the peoples extol him."

And again Isaiah says, "The root of Jesse will come, even he who arises to rule the Gentiles; in him will the Gentiles hope."

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Prayer for Kypton

2009-11-04T09:03:00.002-05:00

My cousin, Amber, and her husband, Adam, had a baby boy on October 2, 2009. Their son, only one month old now, is battling a bacterial blood infection and is hospitalized. Please join me in praying for this family. They have other children who are being cared for by family, but I'm sure it is hard on them to be separated from their mommy so much.

Pray for:

1. Healing for Kypton

2. Faith for Amber and Adam for whatever is to come

3. Physical strength as they spend so much time at the hospital

4. That God would use this for his own glory

5. And anything else that the Lord lays on your heart

Thank you for joining me! I will update as I am updated.

Romans 15:8-9

2009-11-04T08:57:00.002-05:00

Today I memorized 2 verses and was filled with joy as I did it!

For I tell you that Christ became a servant to the circumcised to show God's truthfulness, in order to confirm the promises given to the patriarchs, and in order that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written, "Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles, and sing to your name."

Romans 15:4-7

2009-11-03T08:13:00.003-05:00

Today's memory work:

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

Today was tough. Thank you, Lord, for your ever-present help for my weakness!

Romans 15:1-3

2009-10-31T09:31:00.002-04:00

Today begins chapter 15! Praise God!

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me."

Romans 14:20-23

2009-10-30T08:06:00.002-04:00

Praise God! Today I completed chapter 14!! Only two chapters left! I am so aware of God's grace and help to keep moving forward.

Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.

Birthday Fun - Part 1

2009-10-27T19:35:00.005-04:00

This is Chloe's introduction to Jake's birthday. She was SO excited to celebrate! The video I took in Jake's room when we got him up is extremely dark, so this picture, though poor, will have to do!

He was very excited about the balloons! What a way to wake up! He knew it was going to be a different kind of day! Here he is at breakfast. We made pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes - with a smiley face.

We love our little man! He is such a big boy now! At his doctor's appointment yesterday he weighed in at 28 lbs and is a whopping 36 3/4 inches tall. That puts him in the 50th% for weight and 97th% for height!! Chloe is taller than he is by only 1 1/4 inch. He knows all of his colors, can sing several songs, and is speaking in sentences. He does not like doors or drawers or anything with a lid to be left open - if it is, he will close it whether or not you are ready for it to be closed! He is crazy about his big sister and wants to do whatever she is doing. He loves his blankie and carries it around with him much like Linus from Charlie Brown. He is a good eater and just today astonished me by eating raw carrots, green peppers, cucumbers, and celery (though he did not swallow the celery - I think it took too long to chew!). He regularly wakes up and immediately requests something specific for breakfast: oatmeal, pancakes, or a smoothie are the most common requests. His favorite video is Jonah, which he asks to watch several times a day.

I will post more about his birthday celebration later. This post is getting too long and there is much more to say! Stay tuned for another installment of Birthday Fun!

Romans 14:18-19

2009-10-27T13:46:00.002-04:00

Today's memory work:

Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Two short verses that completed a paragraph. One paragraph remains in chapter 14; 4 longish verses. Then, on to 15!

Romans 14:10-17

2009-10-25T08:52:00.004-04:00

Once again I have slacked off in posting my Scripture memory! Last week I memorized Romans 14:10-15. Today, I did 14:16-17. Here they are:

Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despite your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, "As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God." So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Therefore, let us not pass judgement on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hinderance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

2 years old!

2009-10-19T16:13:00.004-04:00

Today, Jakey-boy turned 2. It is hard to believe! We have had quite the day and I can't wait to post about it. For now, you will have settle for just a few pics - though I took a ton!

Our big boy today, October 19, 2009

Baby boy, October 19, 2007

He sure has changed! He was about 10 minutes old in that picture. Wow. He is such a joy to us! We love you, buddy-boy!

Romans 14:7-9

2009-10-07T08:46:00.002-04:00

What wonderful verses to put to memory this morning! Praise God for his precious word!

For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.

Romans 14:5-6

2009-10-06T08:01:00.002-04:00

Today's memory work:

One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God.

Thank you, Lord!

Romans 14:1-4

2009-10-05T07:51:00.003-04:00

I began chapter 14 this morning! I am very aware that I am in the home stretch and am finding myself newly motivated to press on. Only 3 chapters remain! Praise God!

As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

Romans 13:8-10 and 11-14

2009-10-03T13:42:00.003-04:00

I have slacked off in posting my memory work! I memorized chapter 13:8-10 a few days ago and 11-12 yesterday and 13-14 this morning. Here they are:

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet, " and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does not wrong to a neighbor, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone, the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Romans 13:5-7

2009-09-28T08:35:00.002-04:00

Praise God! 3 more verses down!

Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

Romans 13:2-4

2009-09-24T20:34:00.002-04:00

I barely squeezed these in today! Praise God for helping me to do it even when I wanted to just do something else tonight. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness to me!

Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer.

The Gospel Song

2009-09-23T08:24:00.004-04:00

Right now the kids are having playtime in their beds. I heard Chloe singing the Gospel Song. So sweet to hear those words coming from her mouth! Then I heard, "Jake, can you sing it with me, bud?" She began the song again, attempting to teach Jake the words. This is one of those moments I want to remember. I pray that the words of that song will be real to their hearts someday!

The Gospel Song (by Sovereign Grace Music):

Holy God in love became

Perfect man to bear my blame

On the cross he took my sin

By his death I live again.

Romans 13:1

2009-09-23T06:46:00.001-04:00

Chapter 13 begins today! Yippee!

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.

Romans 12:19-21

2009-09-18T09:06:00.003-04:00

By the grace of God and by His help I finished chapter 12 today!! Praise God!!

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:14-18

2009-09-17T14:15:00.003-04:00

Today's memory work:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Oh Lord! May these words penetrate my heart and work there.

Romans 12:9-10 and 11-13

2009-09-15T07:22:00.004-04:00

I memorized, but forgot to post, verses 9 and 10 on Friday:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Today I memorized 11-13:

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Romans 12:6-8

2009-09-10T08:29:00.004-04:00

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Praise God for the time and desire and ability to memorize this morning! I love this passage. It clearly displays that our differences are God-given and necessary for the body of Christ to function properly. Just as my body cannot be all eyes, but needs each member to perform its own function, the body of Christ cannot be all teachers or all contributors; there must necessarily be servers and exhorters and merciful ones. How beautiful is God's plan!

VEIP Test and MVA

2009-09-09T14:38:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure why I feel like sharing this; maybe I just can't believe I did this today! I left the house intending to get the Maryland Vehicle Emissions Test done. We have had approximately 7 months to get it done. Today was the last day. Yes, I waited until the very last possible moment.

I was braced for a DMV (know here as the MVA) type experience. Well, much to my excitement, the whole process took less than 5 minutes!! Wow! I didn't even have to get the kids out of the car! Amazing!

With this amazing feeling inside, I headed home. Since I had been so successful in so little time, I asked myself if there was anything else I'd been putting off that I could get done. Yes! I could go and get my license! I lost it months ago so why not?

So, I entered an actual DMV/MVA experience. I was prepared with "special drawing things", as Chloe refers to them. These are the ColorWonder books and markers. The markers only draw on the special paper. We discovered this on our very long family vacation. We only pull them out when they are absolutely necessary. It has been at least a month since Chloe got to use them and I've never let Jake. We walked in at nearly 11am. Hum, almost lunch time. Not a good start.

The place was slammed! We were there for right at 2 hours. Yikes! I didn't have lunches packed or even any snacks with me. Oops. However, the kids did very well, especially Chloe. She didn't complain at all and colored constantly. Jake was less impressed with the markers and was pretty much done with them by the time we got seated and began the longest part of the wait. He broke down and wailed at 2 different points, but with a little entertainment from Mom, he was calmed down. Overall, I was pleased with the time. It certainly wasn't boring!

So, that is the story of how I braved 2 long-put-off tasks in one day and was triumphant! Praise God for his mercies! He sustained us through what could have gone very differently!

I can't wait to tell Kevin what I got done!

Romans 12:4-5

2009-09-09T07:55:00.002-04:00

This morning's memory work:

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Lord, thank you for helping me to hide your word in my heart! Increase my capacity to remember for your glory!

Romans 12:3

2009-09-08T09:24:00.002-04:00

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

Praise God! New mercies, another day, another verse hidden!

Anger and Laziness

2009-09-07T08:05:00.004-04:00

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while or who know me very well know that I am an angry person. Typically, Chloe and Jake get front row seats to my ungodly display of anger and it is, sadly, directed at them. Some of you (Kevin, my brothers and parents, and some friends from childhood and youth) have experience my anger first hand, but most of you have had to take my word for it. Trust me, it is there. It is nothing new to me now. I know it is there. I will never grow past needing God's help in the area of anger.

Yesterday morning, God opened my eyes to a previously unknown sin. It has been there a long time, I just didn't have eyes to see it. "The heart is deceitful above all things"; I have certainly been deceived, or, perhaps, unwilling to see the depths of my sinfulness.

I am lazy. I didn't know I was lazy because I am also busy. I keep myself busy with less important things to avoid doing what is important. I can see this pattern throughout my life. I have apparently been lazy for a very long time. In different seasons this laziness has expressed itself in avoiding the following things: studying, doing homework, cleaning my room, spending time with God (I am most regretful of this one), making a phone call, taking care of paperwork, etc. I avoid whatever task seems unappealing at the time, and I keep busy with something easier or less unpleasant. In other words, I procrastinate. I do not decide I will not complete a certain task in a given day, I just keep putting it off, little by little, until it cannot be done that day. I don't realize that I am doing it, but I feel a low-grade guilt the whole time.

In my current season of life, my laziness and procrastination find expression in avoiding housework. The dishes ALWAYS need to be done; the counter is in constant disarray. Realizing that I'm just going to have to do it again, and again, and again has made these tasks unpleasant to me. They are not difficult. It is just that I'm tired and don't WANT to do them. (LAZY). So, they go undone. Nevermind God's calling on my life as a homemaker. They will get done. Just not right now.

This has been my approach, particularly in the last several weeks/months (maybe Kevin would say this has always been my approach; I'll have to ask him). As Kevin entered PC, I sought to pull myself up by my bootstraps and just get it all done. I know that it blesses Kevin (all of us, really) when the house is neat and the dishes put away. Our home feels restful and conducive to both study and communion with God. I know this and thought I could "just do it".

I cannot.

I am a wicked sinner to my core and prefer ease to blessing my husband. I didn't see this clearly because I wasn't sitting on the couch watching soap operas. I have been busy. Busy doing things that aren't as important. They seem urgent, sometimes they are, but that doesn't make them important.

So, how did I come to this profound discovery about myself and the condition of my heart? By God's grace, he provided an article, or more accurately, a print out of a series of blog posts that CJ Mahaney did called, "Biblical Productivity". As I read, I knew it applied to me. The next morning as I spent time with God, he opened my eyes to the reality of the sin in my heart and brought sweet conviction. How kind of God to reveal this sin to me! He was not content to let me stay in that place but is beginning to bring me out of it. It is also his kindness not to overwhelm me. He could have revealed this a couple of years ago at the same time he revealed anger, but he patiently waited. He is so tender in his correction and gentle in his care for me. I pray that I will learn from his example and be as tender and gentle with my children who have far less that needs correction than I have.

Now that you know, please feel free to ask me about this area. I need grace and help from others. I cannot see my sin clearly and welcome your eyes.

Romans 12:2

2009-09-07T08:02:00.002-04:00

What a joy to hide his word in my heart in the morning! That you, Father, for the ability and desire to do so.

Romans 12:2

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1

2009-09-06T10:00:00.002-04:00

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! I began memorizing chapter 12 and what a sweet beginning:

Romans 12:1

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

Romans 11:25-36

2009-09-06T08:54:00.004-04:00

By God's mercy and help I finally completed memorizing chapter 11! I just looked back and saw that I have been working on chapter 11 since May 21st! Whoa! I memorized chapters 1 through 10 from Jan. 12 through May 20, just over 4 months for 10 chapters (only by HIS great help!). Then, I got stuck. It has taken well over 3 months to complete this one chapter. Clearly, I cannot do this in my own strength. I have been chipping away at it slowly over the last 2 weeks or so. I plan to get back to posting as I memorize, we'll see if that actually happens!

Romans 11:25-36

Lest you be wise in your own sight, I want you to understand this mystery, brothers: a partial hardening has come upon Israel, until the fullness of the Gentiles has come in. And in this way all Israel will be saved, as it is written, "The Deliverer will come from Zion, he will banish ungodliness from Jacob"; "and this will be my covenant with them when I take away their sins." As regards the gospel, they are enemies of God for your sake. But as regards election, they are beloved for the sake of their forefathers. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. For just as you were at one time disobedient to God but now have received mercy because of their disobedience, so they too have now been disobedient in order that by the mercy shown to you they also may now receive mercy. For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all. Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?" For from him and to him and through him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

O merciful Father! Thank you for the gift of your Word! It is precious to me! Thank you for allowing me to finish this chapter. Continue to help me hide your word in my heart. I feel my weakness and inability to take on the last 5 chapters. I can and will only do it if you will help me! I will not move forward in my own strength! I need you! Please help me by your Spirit and for YOUR glory alone! Amen.

And now, right now, I will go and begin working on chapter 12! Praise God!

2009-09-05T16:48:00.012-04:00

I wanted to take a moment to introduce you to our church and the PC rooms. I got these images from our new friends', the Tregs, blog. They actually thought of taking pictures of these things for people back home. This has never occurred to me.

So, if you've never seen our church, there it is!

This is the PC classroom where my husband and 16 others will spend many, many hours this year.

Kevin will spend lots of time studying and reading and praying and studying and writing and reading and praying and learning, here. This is the PC library. I foresee Kevin sitting in that chair.

A lot.

Notice the books. There are many more on the other side of the room. It is well stocked. Kevin will love it here. He loves books.

Last, but certainly not least, the PC breakroom. There is a constant flow of coffee out of this room. My husband will certainly partake. Apparently, there is also a pretty steady stream of goodies.

Anyway, just a glimpse of where Kevin will be "doing life" for the next 9 months or so!

Hair

2009-09-04T15:15:00.003-04:00

She was playing quietly. I could hear her talking softly to someone or herself. Then I heard crying. I asked, through her closed door, are you okay? She responded, "I sprayed my eyes!" I immediately opened the door, knowing she had gotten out the de-tangler for kids I use on her hair when I put it in pigtails. I was tempted to give her a stern speech about not using that stuff. I began with, "Chloe, you may not get out that spray." She said, in a tiny little voice, "but I wanted to make my hair pretty for you." I, of course, melted. I knelt down beside her and said, "Chlo, you can't use it by yourself." She comes back with, "But it says to use it by yourself." I laughed. She is still rubbing her eyes with soaked hands. I now realize that she is drenched in the stuff! We went to the bathroom to get a washcloth and wipe away tears and product. She was concerned that I not wipe too much off. I noticed various clips in her hair. She had certainly made an effort! I wish I had pictures!

One of those days.

2009-09-04T10:10:00.004-04:00

Today is one of those days.

I use this phrase too often. It typically means I am tempted or have been surviving a difficult day.

Today is one those days...

I feel the joy of mothering; there is peace in my house.

What made the difference between this morning and the last?

Maybe it was the fresh reminder of the Gospel I received last night.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the store and through a variety of circumstances (Besty Ricucci would call these providences) I found myself very angry at one of my children; sadly, not an unusual situation. I stood there, in the middle of the grocery store, fighting for faith. I stood still for several minutes trying to decide what to do. I left very aware of my anger and sinfulness. Questions raced through my mind even as I tried to take them captive, "Why do I still get so angry?" "Will I always respond in anger?" I saw little hope for change, though (by God's grace alone) I was aware that my status before the Lord was/is secure in Jesus.

The rest of the day was fine; not joy-filled, but fine.

Last night we had our first Mahaney Meeting. Each month we have the privilege of meeting with CJ and Carolyn Mahaney for 2 plus hours. This generous usage of their time has already proven life-changing for me. In typical CJ-fashion, we were freshly reminded of the gospel. The gospel oozes from CJ's pores. He is saturated in it and seems to be always affected as he speaks of what Christ has done for him, for us. So, in light of the exhortation to remember the gospel, this morning I read through "A Gospel Primer". I was deeply moved as I reflected on and rehearsed God's grace to me. This line in particular, was affecting for me, "No wrath is awakened in God at my sin, because Christ appeased it..."

No wrath.

No wrath because

Christ appeased it.

He took it.

He bore it in full brunt on that Tree.

I do not deserve this great salvation. I don't deserve it "on my holiest day", much less any other sin-filled day. I am never, could not ever be, worthy of this great love and mercy.

6 years.

2009-09-01T15:49:00.005-04:00

This is the official first class. Kevin has already had more reading to do, in one week, than I usually get to in a month or more. He is proving his ability to walk the line of diligence in study and faithfulness to his family. This weekend provided quite the training ground because...

Our 6th anniversary was on Sunday! 6 years! Wow...

My husband blessed me in numerous ways, but my favorite was the note he wrote and gave to me (along with the one dozen GORGEOUS white roses - seriously, I've never seen more beautiful, perfect roses). He has a way with words.

He lavished me with other gifts including an amazing Le Creuset enameled cast-iron skillet. I picked it up today (he ordered it from their outlet) and can't wait to put it to use tonight for my Beloved's dinner...pork chops...yum! He also took me on a shopping spree meant to bless me because I enjoy shopping; I must say, though, it is less fun with children. Kevin took the full brunt of the complaining and arguing so that I could enjoy myself. What sacrificial love!

He took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant: Tower Oaks Lodge. I L.O.V.E. eating there! My favorite part of the evening was watching Kevin dive into his dinner! I've never seen him get so lost in a meal before! Usually we discuss flavors and textures and delight over each bite. Last night, he was speechless. He just zoned out of reality for about 5 minutes. I was delighted to see him enjoying it that thoroughly!

All of this to say, my Beloved blessed me a great deal this weekend. He was thoughtful and generous and lavish in his affection. He joyfully gave me his time, though he certainly had much to do. His desire was to have his reading completed by today, but sacrificed that desire to bless me. I cannot help praising God for giving me to this man. God brought us together and held us together through a season that seemed too dark to ever end. Ours was the marriage that nearly wasn't. But, by God's abundant grace he saw us through and united us on August 30, 2003. We have only grown closer and more in love since that day. This has been coursing through my mind over the past few days: Praise God from whom all blessings flow!" It is the cry of my heart as I reflect back on the past 6, grace-filled years.

3 Days In

2009-08-26T15:11:00.006-04:00

We are just three days into the PC year. Already it has proven to be life-changing. We have 14 new couples and their families to get to know. New friends. It is an unusual situation to go into; knowing these people, previously unknown, will soon become dear friends. It makes for quick bonding and eager interaction. We anticipate a difficult parting come June.

I'm already feelings the pangs of missing old friends who haven't gone anywhere but who must be missed for the season we are in. We will see them as often as we can, but it will seem little by comparison to our desires.

I am realizing the constraints on time with my husband, my dearest friend. I will learn this year to release him to study and to prepare. The training will serve us well as he becomes a pastor and must again be release to serve God's people. I am grateful for the training!

I see change in Kevin already. He is diligent and focused in a way I've not seen, in a way he has not previously needed. I pray that this will not only continue, but increase as the year presses on and the demands on his time seem more than he can bear. He will have more to do than 24 hours will allow.

We are aware of our need of God. We are in a season of marked dependence, not that we are ever able to get through one day apart from His help; it's just that we are especially aware of our need right now. I feel my weakness. Pregnancy saps my strength mentally, physically, and emotionally. I believe the Lord has me (and 6 other PC wives) pregnant during PC to increase my dependance on him! He is "turning up the heat", so to speak. I hope that as sin is revealed in me, I am able to humbly receive help from these new friends and the pastors and their wives who are caring for us.

I eagerly anticipate growth in Him this year. Would that I always anticipated His work in my life and family as I do now. He is always at work. What a kind and faithful God we serve!

Tears

2009-08-26T15:08:00.003-04:00

I heard her crying in her bedroom and stopped to listen. She called for me, sobbing that her pink balloon was broken. She wept as though she had lost her best friend. Sometimes her tears, even over such small things, make my heart ache with tender affection for my little one.

First Day...

2009-08-24T11:34:00.002-04:00

Today is Kevin's first day of classes. This morning I was explaining this to Chloe:

Me: Chloe, today is Daddy's first day of school!

Chloe (with much excitement): Do we all get to go!

Me: No, sweetie, this is just for Daddy.

Chloe (fighting back tears): But, why can't I go?

Me: Oh honey, this is school just for big people like Daddy.

Chloe (voice shaking): But I want to go too!

It was a precious moment! She eventually understood and I promised that we would do school here once Daddy left. I enjoyed her company this morning as we got Kevin ready to go. She helped make his favorite breakfast smoothie and to pack his lunch. What a big helper!

Pastors College

2009-08-18T14:39:00.007-04:00

It has come quickly. Pastors College (often referred to simply as PC). Tomorrow is Kevin's last day of work at Covenant Life. Thursday there will be a luncheon for all of the PC wives. Saturday is orientation.

It is hard to believe.

I am filled with excitement and anticipation as I consider all that will take place over the next 10 months. 10 months to study and learn and prepare for ministering to God's people. What a tremendous privilege. It is my prayer (and I would love for you to pray it too) that June 2010 finds us more like our Savior. More in love with Him. More in love with each other. Better parents. Better stewards of the gifts given to us by our great God and King. It is our deep desire to honor the Lord with this unique season of preparation.

For me, I want to learn to serve my husband sacrificially, willingly, eagerly even when it costs me much. I want to build with the 15 other wives and to learn as much as I can from them! I want to serve these ladies and their families and know them well. I am so excited to get started! What a great God we serve! His love is lavish and his grace abundant! I know I will need much strength and patience for this year. I will need to be constantly reminded of the gospel. I will need to depend on God and not my own strength, which will fail me. These are things I always need; how aware of my need I find myself these days! This very familiar passage has ministered to me greatly for the past couple of weeks: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. Prov. 3:5-8

Father, thank you for your Word! It is precious to me. Thank you for using this passage to remind me to trust you. Thank you for illuminating your Word and for helping us to understand it by the work of your Holy Spirit. Thank you for working in my heart and for revealing my tendency to lean on my own understanding. Oh God! Help me to stop and to recognize my great need for help! I praise your excellent name for your goodness, your kindness, your mercy, and your grace. May your kingdom come!

Last Care Group Meeting

2009-07-31T14:59:00.003-04:00

Last night was our last care group meeting. What a bittersweet evening we enjoyed! We began with a potluck dinner that was amazing in its abundance and goodness. The kiddos joined us for that time which was fun for them and for me - I was entertained by their interactions with people. Chloe invited Miss Jessi to sit at the kids table (a very small table designed for children) and Jessi graciously agreed. Chloe and Jake love Jessi. This was obvious in the way Chloe followed her around and then again when Jessi finished eating and stood by her husband (only a step away) and I sat in her chair. Both children made clear that I was sitting in Miss Jessi's seat. Chloe said to me, "I like Miss Jessi. But I like you too Mommy". She was so matter-of-fact about it! We put the kids to bed after dinner and then prepared to begin our last meeting together. Kevin created a "Memory Lane Trivia" game which we enjoyed laughing over. We took some time to express our affection for these couples whom we've grown to love so much. When we had taken as much time as possible, Kev handed things over to Jim Winn, who will be taking leadership of the group with the help of his wife, Tessa. We are so grateful for this couple. It is a joy to leave the group in such capable, loving hands. The group took time to express their affection for us - a time that we cherished and were deeply humbled by. At the end, they presented us with a gift. Julie Giove handcrafted a scrapbook that is both beautiful and filled with memories. We are so grateful! We looked through it with the group before everyone left and then poured over it when we were alone. We laughed a lot and talked about the memories we have with each couple. What a joy it has been to serve them!

One of the things I am most grateful for from the evening was the opportunity to praise God for the work he has done. As we looked back over the time we had with each couple (which varies from nearly 2 years to 5 months) we can see clearly God's work. It was sweet to give glory to the One to whom it is due. As the group pointed out evidence of grace in Kevin and me, I could not help but praise God. Some of the things they said were in areas I know I have been previously weak - or still feel very weak - and it was God's kindness to me last night to let me see a bit of his work. Father, thank you for being faithful to change people. Thank you for promising to make us like your Son. Please continue this work!

I cried a lot last night and it was a hinderance to what I could say at the time. So, to my ladies, um, the Winn's ladies: I am tremendously grateful to God for the privilege it was to serve you. You are my friends and I am looking forward to continuing in friendship, though it will certainly look differently now. You are ladies who love the Lord and are passionate about pursuing Him. You have hidden his Word in your hearts and are seeking to apply it to your lives. You love abundantly and without reservation and you pour out your time to serve others. I am going to miss meeting with you weekly. I am going to especially miss our ladies meetings. (Patricia, I'm not sure you read this blog, but if you do, you came up last night because we have been missing you for a long time at ladies meetings. They never were the same!) Thank you for embracing me and for allowing me to care for you. For those of you new to the group, thank you for jumping in so completely. It feels like you've been there all along. I thought about our group all night and woke up thinking about you again. It just doesn't seem real - that it is really over. I'm not sure I know what my week should look like now! Ladies, please feel free to email or call or text anytime. I love you very much and deeply respect each of you.

With much love and affection,

Jami

Happy Birthday Mom!

2009-07-31T14:41:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. You are a wonderful mom and Mimi. I appreciate your desire to be with the kids and love that you are so involved even though you are 5 hours away. I love how much they love you! Thank you for everything you do for us and for all of your love and affection. We benefit greatly from your care!

I love you, Mom!

I published this and then realized that I would be falling short if I did not mention my Aunt Dawn. Dawn is my mom's twin sister and today is, of course, her birthday too. Happy birthday Dawn! I love you!

For Poppa Rick

2009-07-27T15:43:00.004-04:00

So, I have this video I have been meaning to send to my father-in-law for some time now. Since Father's Day to be exact - 2 months ago. I thought perhaps the best way to get it in front of him would be to post it here.

I have the best in-law a girl could dream up. They LOVE our children and treat me like family, like the daughter they never had. I love being part of the family. My father-in-law, Rick, is wonderful with the kiddos. He has always loved children. He used to play with strangers' kids when we went out for dinner. He seems to have a radar for them. Now, Chloe and Jake receive the full benefit of his affections. They adore him. Here is the video they made for him 2 months ago:

Rick, thanks for all the joy you bring into our lives! We love you!

Pics of Jake's Hand

2009-07-25T14:10:00.008-04:00

Here are some pictures of Jake's hand on July 7th, 4 days after he burned it:

The blisters have popped.

These two are from July 10th, a week after the burn:

Little man was such a trooper! He didn't try to remove his bandage and actually ran to me when I told him it was time to change it! Brave boy!

I'm back!

2009-07-25T13:21:00.004-04:00

I'm sorry for my long absence. We have not fallen off of the face of the earth. We did not lose all Internet access. We have, however, been many places - just not home. We went on vacation for 2 weeks and then returned for a few days and left again for a few days. Really, we are just settling back in since our exit on June 26th! How I love being home! So, we are really due for some updates:

1. Romans. I am indeed still planning to finish memorizing the book. I am on chapter 11 and have a plan to press on. I have begun reviewing chapter 11 and will continue to do so until I catch up (I think verse 24. I am on verse 15). When I reach verse 25 I will begin memorizing one verse per day. I have 130 verses left to memorize (meaning that I have 303 verses done! Wow). The baby is due on January 4th and I would like to have it done before that (for fear that once the baby comes I'll have difficulty memorizing even one verse per day!). So, my new goal is December 31st giving me 159 days. Thanks to those of you who have asked me about this and encouraged me in it. I am grateful for the support.

2. Baby. Our littlest one is doing very well! I feel movement frequently and enjoy knowing he or she is happily swimming around in there. Our appointment for THE ultrasound is on August 10th and we very much hope to find out the sex that day. This is, more importantly, the one where they look at all of the baby's vital organs - heart, brain, kidneys, etc. We pray for a healthy baby who's parts are where they should be and in perfect working order. We know this is not guaranteed so we would appreciate your prayers as well.

3. Chloe. Not much new with girlie. She is growing and talking more and more (I know, it seems impossible!) She is insistent that the baby I'm carrying is a boy - and the baby in her tummy is a girl! :-) I love watching her become more caring. She takes good care of Jacob and is eager for a new baby to mother.

4. Jake. Now for the big story of the last few weeks. Jake. Our accident prone toddler burned his tiny hand. It was truly a freak accident. We stayed at a beautiful cabin in the Smoky Mountains and had enjoyed 4 days there. As we were packing up to leave, my father-in-law, Rick, cleaned out the refrigerator, putting some things in the cooler to take with us. Jake was "helping". The door was open for a while and he left it that way to put something in the cooler. As he did, Jake started crying. Rick went to him and thought he had pinched his hand between the shelves. I heard him cry from downstairs, but when he stopped, I went about my packing. A few minutes later, I heard him crying again so I went up to check on him. By this time, his hand is white and I know he has been burned. Rick had gone outside with Chloe, so I didn't know what could have happened. Jake is crying really hard. If you remember back a few months to when he fell down the steps, you may remember that he barely cried. Last year he was stung by a wasp and didn't cry at all. Well, that day (July 3rd to be exact) he cried for a solid hour. He cried until we got him to a doctor's office and the nurse put silvadene on it. To back up a bit, and to make a very long story short, Kevin held Jake and tried to sooth him until we could leave. We figured out that Jake must have stepped up into the fridge and grabbed the light bulb. (Would you ever think you could get burned in the fridge?) Rick made a phone call and found a clinic we could take him to. So, we abruptly ended our stay at the cabin and raced to the clinic, which turned out not to be a clinic but a private doctor's office. They were closed according to the sign in the window. My heart sank and, by this point, I was also crying. Rick pulled around back and saw a nurse. Rick asked her some questions and she began giving us directions to another place. Then, Rick made his most brilliant move. He opened the sliding door to reveal the crying baby with his obviously swollen, blistered, burned hand. She told us to come in! Praise God! I carried Jake while Kevin filled out paper work. The nurse slapped slivadene on is hand and INSTANTLY he stopped crying! My heart began to slow back down and Jake smiled for the first time in too long. She wrapped his poor hand and gave me what I needed to do it again and again for the next few weeks.

I think that is enough for one day. There is more to tell about our lives and many, many pictures to share. Thanks for even checking in!

Father's Day

2009-06-21T11:22:00.004-04:00

Sweets,

I am excited to have the opportunity to honor you publicly!

For those of you who don't know my husband very well, let me summarize. He is a man who loves the Lord and seeks to honor him by serving our family. He leads us very humbly, very well. When he comes home from a long day of work, he eagerly dives in to his role as father. He doesn't not come in and kick back on the couch, tuning everything, and everyone, out. He takes over as leader and makes our evenings joy-filled. His leadership is clearly felt when he is home and dearly missed when he is not. I am a better mom because of his gentle leadership and patient guidance.

Kev, I love you. I love you more today than I did almost 6 years ago on our wedding day. Parenting with you has deepened my love and respect for you and has revealed more of your character. You are patient, gentle, kind, slow to speak and abounding with love. You represent our Savior very well to our children - and to me. I have seen you grow over the last 3 years as a daddy. I love to watch you read the Bible to Chloe. You are seizing moments that could be spent on something easier to train our daughter to love God and his Word. It is working! Even this morning, she carried her huge Bible across the house so you could read it to her. She is eager for those times with you and she is memorizing the stories. When you left today, I read "Life outside the Garden" from her Big Picture Storybook Bible. I paused often and each time she filled in the words verbatim! That is your investment into her growth. She is learning about God's character and you read and explain. Thank you.

Thank you for humbly pursuing help from others. I have seen you grow in godliness as you have humbled yourself. God's promise is true; he does give grace to the humble. Thank you for leading me to grow as a mom and for pointing to Jesus when I am discouraged. Thank you for recognizing and encouraging me that what I'm doing day by day is important and worthwhile. Without your leadership, help, sacrifice, encouragement, etc. I would not be able to be home everyday with our children. You make it possible. Thank you for sacrificing cars and houses and toys and extra money for the sake of our family. Thank you for loving us and for giving us your self: your time, your effort, your prayers, your care, your leadership, your all. We benefit everyday from being in your family. Lord, all glory be to you for giving us Kevin to lead us!! I will never be able to praise and thank you enough!

Well, I could go on all day, but Chloe has somethings she wants to say:

And then I asked her if she wanted to sing Daddy a song:

We love you, sweetheart! I can't wait to enjoy this day with you!

Father's Day (for Papa Tom)

2009-06-20T11:04:00.004-04:00

Dad,

Today the kids made a video for you. We were talking about Father's Day and what we could do to bless the dads in our lives and Chloe wanted to say this to you:

Then, she wanted to sing this song:

I would like to say how much I love you. You are and have been a wonderful dad whose example of faith has be an encouragement to me. You are anchored to the Rock and the steadfastness of the Lord shines in you. You are steadfast. You are a rock in our family. You are a faithful man who trusts God in everything. You entrusted us, your children, to the Lord when we were small and you've continued to entrust everything to the Lord. Thank you for your example. Your faith encourages mine. I love you!

Happy Father's Day!

Reflecting.

2009-06-12T22:10:00.006-04:00

We are pregnant and so grateful to be carrying yet another little one. This is my fifth pregnancy. Hard to believe. Tonight, I looked back on the journal pages capturing the days prior to and following the miscarriage. I still miss that baby even though we are pregnant again. I am still aware that the due date is approaching. When I see a very pregnant woman I still think about how big I would be and wonder how close to July 16th they are due. I still cry sometimes - like tonight. A new baby does not replace the lost one.

I find myself saying, "we are pregnant", rather than "we're going to have a baby". Not because I am afraid, but because we don't know if we will have a baby. All we know is that, for right now, we are pregnant. There is a tiny life growing inside of me - today. Praise God! I will rejoice for today! I will grieve tomorrow if necessary, but today I rejoice.

The Lord has blessed me this go round with little sickness. I have felt mildly nauseous only 3 or 4 times. It is really strange. I felt incredibly sick, all day long, everyday with the last one and was very nauseous with Chloe and Jake. I don't understand why I feel this way, but I am grateful.

Lord, thank you for the time we have with this baby. Thank you for blessing me with the gift of children and for the hope we feel as we anticipate meeting this one. We trust in your plan even if it hurts. If you have called us to more suffering, then we will trust you to walk us through it one small step at a time. Our hearts' desire to have a healthy baby this winter. Please, give us this baby and allow us to raise him or her for your glory! Allow us to lay down our lives for this one. However, no matter what the next few weeks and months hold, we will still strive to say - The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Thunder

2009-06-12T20:23:00.004-04:00

Two or three days ago we were playing outside in the swelteringly hot summer weather. Chloe, Jake, and all four Dabbondanza children were playing in the kid pool and running through the sprinkler. Jenn and I were watching them and chatting on the porch swing when suddenly, the temperature dropped. A few minutes later we noticed amazing and ominous clouds rolling in! The shift in weather was dramatic and swift. We began rounding the kids up and running for the door. Within minutes the storm us upon us and we were watching from our windows. Chloe heard the thunder and began asking questions. She wanted to know where the thunder was, so I told her it was in the clouds. I answered her questions and explained that she need not fear because God controls the weather. He speaks and the wind and the rain stop.

The next morning, Chloe was still thinking about the thunder. She asked me, "How does the thunder get down?" I don't remember how I answered her, but it didn't matter. She waited patiently for me to finish speaking and then said, "I know how it can get down. We can put a ladder in the grass. A reeeeally tall ladder." I smiled and tried to burn the conversation into my memory. Unfortunately, I cannot remember what else she had to say, but I remember loving the insight into the way her mind works!

Prayerfully...

2009-06-11T15:15:00.004-04:00

we are expecting our third on January 4th! We had our first appointment on Monday and were able to see the baby moving around a lot! It is amazing to see a baby so small moving tiny arms and legs. What a joyful moment for Kevin and me! Sorry for the fuzzy picture - Kev took a picture of the picture with his iPhone. For those of you unaccustomed to looking at sonograms, the left half of the baby is the head and the right half is the body. The small dots near the top of the body and on either side are hands and arms (which are much longer than they appear) and the dots at the bottom are legs and feet.

We are trusting the Lord with the safety of our baby and are aware that we may not ever get to hold this little one. However, we are very excited and enjoying each day that we have to grow and love this baby. Of course, we are praying for a healthy pregnancy and delivery and that we will hold our little one this winter.

I'm feeling well this pregnancy but I am extremely tired. I thank God for the symptoms I have because it means that I am still pregnant! It is impacting my ability to memorize scripture. I'm finding it much more difficult to focus and remember. Pregnancy brain has seized me early this time! Please pray that I will press in through these first-trimester days. Also, I'm seeing my deadline for completing Romans (August 1st) slip away. Kevin has encouraged me to just make new deadline rather than attempting to memorize even more at a time and beginning to feeling discouraged. I would welcome thoughts as well as prayers regarding this decision.

The other news I've been waiting to post about has to do with my amazing husband. Kevin will be starting the Pastors College this fall! For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, let me briefly explain. Our church, Covenant Life, is part of a family of churches called Sovereign Grace Ministries. They have created a Pastors College (PC) to train men to serve as pastors in their churches across the country and around the world. It is a one-year, intensive program designed to equip men (and, to a lesser degree, their wives) to effectively serve their local churches. We are thrilled to be going this year! It is a privilege to be Kevin's wife and to be able to serve him and our family as he enters this new season.

So, there we are. All updated. We have had busy weeks lately so there are some details of lesser importance that I'll post sometime soon. This takes care of the big stuff: new baby, school for Kevin, new season of serving...all at the same time. This will be quite the adventure!

Romans 11:17-24

2009-06-09T08:04:00.002-04:00

So, I'm back at it again! I just finished memorizing 8 verses. Praise God! I am aware of his help and mercy to me this morning in allowing me to memorize so much.

But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, "Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in." That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you. Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God's kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off. And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again. For if you were cut from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and grafted, contrary to nature, into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, the natural branches, be grafted back into their own olive tree.

Chloe

2009-06-04T13:22:00.003-04:00

My little girl is 3 years old. She has been three since May 14th, but still it amazes me. For months she said she would be "three in May". Now, we can't convince her that she is three! She insists, "three in May!". I love this funny girl! Just a few minutes ago I heard her calling to me saying, "You've gotta see this!" I walked into her room to find her buckled into a babydoll carrier!

Kevin and I often ask Chloe, "How much does Daddy (or Mommy) love you?" One day, while talking with Kevin, he asked her the question and they went through the routine. She stretched her little arms out and said, "Thiiiiiiis much!?" And Kevin said that her arms were too little to show how much he loves her. Now, every time we play this game, after she stretches her arms out as wide as she can, she brings them back in front of her and looks a little sad and says, "My awms awe too little." Adorable!

I walked away, having finished this post, to get Chloe from her room. After Chloe's commentary, I had to add it in. She said, "My pee-pee is always trying to get out! So I RUN to my potty! But I can't run 'cause the pee-pee will fall out!" She certainly makes me smile!

She is sweet and affectionate and smart and I can't wait to see what this year holds! I plan to post pictures soon - I've been camera challenged of late.

Thanks for hanging in there with this blog. The last several weeks have been strange and wonderful so I've been away from my computer a lot. I'll try to update on everything soon. There is so much to tell...

Romans 11:7-16

2009-05-23T08:30:00.007-04:00

Because of God's mercy and Kevin watching Chloe this morning (early riser that she has become) I was able to memorize the following verses:

What then? Israel failed to obtain what it was seeking. The elect obtained it but the rest were hardened. As it is written, "God gave them a spirit of stupor, eyes that would not see and ears that would not hear, down to this very day." And David says, "Let their table become a snare and a trap, a stumbling block and a retribution for them; let their eyes be darkened so that they cannot see, and bend their backs forever." So I ask, did they stumble in order that they might fall? By no means! Rather through their trespass salvation has come to the Gentiles, so as to make Israel jealous. Now if their trespass means riches for the world, and if their failure means riches for the Gentiles, how much more will their full inclusion mean! Now I am speaking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch then as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry in order somehow to make my fellow Jews jealous, and thus save some of them. For if their rejection means the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance mean but life from the dead? If the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, so is the whole lump, and if the root is holy, so are the branches.

(I don't know what happened to the font on this post and I can't seem to fix it. Weird.)

Romans 11:1-6

2009-05-21T07:43:00.002-04:00

This has been a very difficult week as far as memory work goes. I have had a hard time falling asleep and Chloe has been waking me up early. So I'm finding myself exhausted during the day and having difficulty concentrating. This morning, however, I woke up (on my own) at 5:45. I was able to stay focused and get 6 verses memorized! Praise God!

I ask, then, has God rejected his people? By no means! For I myself am an Israelite, a descent of Abraham, a member of the tribe of Benjamin. God has not rejected his people whom he foreknew. Do you not know what the Scripture says of Elijah, how he appeals to God against Israel? "Lord, they have killed your prophets, they have demolished your altars, and I alone am left, and they seek my life." But what is God's reply to him? "I have kept for myself seven thousand men who have not bowed the knee to Baal." So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.

Romans 10:18-21

2009-05-17T07:00:00.002-04:00

I memorized 2 of these verses yesterday and two this morning. These are the last 4 verses of chapter 10. Only 6 chapters to go!

But I ask, have they not heard? Indeed they have, for "Their voice has gone out to all the earth, and their words to the ends of the world." But I ask, did Israel not understand? First Moses says, "I will make you jealous of those who are not a nation; with a foolish nation I will make you angry." Then Isaiah is so bold as to say, "I have been found by those who did not seek me; I have shown myself to those who did not ask for me." But of Israel he says, "All day long I have held out my hands to a disobedient and contrary people."

Romans 10:14-17

2009-05-15T12:59:00.002-04:00

Today's memory work:

How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless being sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!" But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, "Lord, who has believed what he has heard from us?" So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.

Romans 10:5-13

2009-05-13T12:12:00.003-04:00

Today I was able to memorize 9 verses! Praise God! It is by his strength alone!

For Moses writes about the righteousness that is based on the law, that the person who does the commandments shall live by them. But the righteousness based on faith says, "Do not say in your heart, 'Who will ascend into heaven?' (that is to bring Christ down) or 'Who will descend into the abyss?'" (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). But what does it say? "The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, "Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame." For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

Romans 10:1-4

2009-05-09T13:03:00.002-04:00

Today I began Chapter 10!

Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved. For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness. For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.

Something you probably don't know about me...

2009-05-09T10:12:00.003-04:00

Sometimes in my mind I'm a country singer. Right now I'm doing the dishes with the local country station blasting. Occasionally I have to stop so I can play air-guitar.

I suppose my North Carolina roots find their expression in music.

Just thought you would enjoy a little glimpse into my life when no one is looking.

Maybe later I'll regret sharing this bit of information. We'll see! For now, I'm under the influence of music that makes me want to dance and sing into a pretend microphone.

Romans 9:30-33

2009-05-07T14:03:00.003-04:00

Praise God! Another chapter finished:

What shall we say, then? That Gentiles who did not pursue righteousness have obtained it, that is, a righteousness that is by faith; and that Israel who pursued a law that would lead to righteousness did not succeed in reaching that law. Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as if it were based on works. They have stumbled over the stumbling stone, as it is written, "Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense; and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame."

Romans 9:25-29

2009-05-06T14:27:00.003-04:00

By his help in my weakness:

As indeed he says in Hosea, "Those who were not my people I will call 'my people', and her who was not beloved I will call 'beloved.'" "And in the very place where it was said to them, 'You are not my people,' there they will be called 'sons of the living God.'" And Isaiah cries out concerning Israel, "Though the number of the sons of Israel be as the sand of the sea, only a remnant of them will be saved, for the Lord will carry out his sentence upon the earth fully and without delay." And as Isaiah predicted, "If the Lord of hosts had not left us offspring, we would have been like Sodom and become like Gomorrah."

So far it is going well this week. I've got 11 verses down with 7 more to go. Prayerfully, I will reach my goal of 18 verses! I will certainly only be able to do it with God's help and mercy. This morning I woke up at 5:45 - not on purpose. The same thing happened yesterday, but I went back to sleep for 30 minutes. Today I decided to get up and I have reaped the benefit! I spent a lot of time reviewing this morning and still had time to take on new verses. It was a sweet, uninterrupted time that I look forward to having more often. I just hope that I will choose to stay awake on those days!